When I had my first relationship with a guy I used to be very jealous. No, no, you don´t understand, I mean, it was sick and I was giving sadness away for everyone around me: my lovely family, friends and boyfriend. But the worse thing is to realize that I used to think I was right. Oh yeah! I was always right. I´d never done something wrong. Never.
Couple years after my first boyfriend, of course I´ve lost him with my immature behavior, I´ve started a new relationship. At this time I had learned more about life and I had promised myself don´t be jealous and mean anymore. No one deserves that. Then I´ve started to date The One. The love of my life, and I´ve noticed I had gotta that, I was ready to give away only smiles and happiness. I opened my heart and my soul to live happily ever after.
I don´t know how, when and why, but suddenly I´ve decided to break up with my boyfriend and to start over. It wasn´t easy at all. He didn´t understand that and he didn´t want me to leave him alone after too much love. But when I decide that something or someone is not good enough for me, obviously, because I´m the "perfect", nobody can change my mind. Even his tears, flowers and "I love you" weren´t enough.
We´ve got in one point where he kind of started to hate me and I couldn´t accept that. Then, three months after the break up we accidentally met at a party. Guess what? we couldn´t stop looking each other and in the end we left together. My feelings got confused again, but I knew I used to love him and we shouldn´t waste our lives time apart.
At the time I used to go out with another guy, but after that night the best choice was to be alone or only with my ex-boyfriend. What I didn´t know was that he kept hanging out with another girls because he wasn´t sure about my love for him anymore. When I found that out , he denied. He made up stories trying to convince me to believe everything was gossip and that girl I´ve seen with him was an ex-girlfriend of his friend. Since then, I started to be jealous again and I used to follow him everywhere trying to caught them together.
My friends used to tell me to let him go before I hurt myself really bad. I was a stupid girl and decided to find out the truth before leave him and maybe to do another mistake. All the evidences were there, but I couldn´t accept that the man who used to love me and cry for me would be able to betrayed me like that.
Few weeks later he was with me and the girl called him at home. I got the other line and I heard everything. Yes, they were together. So I´ve started to talk to her and both of us started to complain and yell on him. We promise never to see him again, but still he had to drive me home. Oh! it was the worse day of my life until now. He was so rude. I cannot even remember the words he said because until now, three years later, it still breaks my heart.
One week later he called me asking for forgiveness. Ok, I said. And we met to talk for the last time. It´s obvious that wouldnt´be the last time and we kept seeing each other. The worse is that I also found out he was meeting the other girl again. I couldn´t handle that anymore and I left the country, him, job, family and friends.
(triste? mandei bem? será q o amor perdoa tudo?)
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