Well, how interesting is life huh? You are there, looking through the window people that come and go and you start to think about it, think about you, think about what you are doing with your life. Am I just living the life of others? No? So I should get out of my window of dreams, get out of the house, get out of you!
And that's what I've done. I've left the ghost of you and your stupid games alone in my old mind about 5 seconds ago...and it feels good...sometimes bad...but it feels more good than bad, and it's worthed. It was the first and last Sunday afternoon that I spent on you. I mean, you weren't here, as usual, but I've kept a piece of your mouth taste in my heart, and it was about to start hurting. No, no, no! I'm not a 15-year-old anymore (my facebook quiz said that my true age was 16, haha!) and I cannot allow myself to have a broken heart again. No, not me! happy me! alone me! busy me! requested me! smiling me! me, me, me, me, me, me...Selfish? Nope! I've learned to live in my little bubble to protect myself against pain. Maybe I've gone too far and it's time to start over. Again? Yes, again. Hahaha. Funny me!
I get tired of starting over sometimes because I'm always changing, recycling myself to start fresh, but this freshness makes me anxious sometimes. Sorry, a lot of times. Do you think somebody has noticed that? Oh, hell no! Apparently I'm one of the happiest that always has a word of wisdow to convince my friends that everything is gonna be alright. hahaha. So stupid! The truth is that I'm happy and once and a while I pretend to be bored or sad just to see how it feels. And I really don't like the way I feel. Let's stop this fool game! Let me take my shower and go to bed. Tomorrow is Monday and I don't want to play the poor thing anymore. Let's go back to the reality of the insanes. Nuts!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Friday, June 20, 2008
Essa mexeu lá no fundinho do meu baú de saudades. Tema: worse sensation; jealous; lies; lost of faith; depression; feeling of revenge or forgiveness.
When I had my first relationship with a guy I used to be very jealous. No, no, you don´t understand, I mean, it was sick and I was giving sadness away for everyone around me: my lovely family, friends and boyfriend. But the worse thing is to realize that I used to think I was right. Oh yeah! I was always right. I´d never done something wrong. Never.
Couple years after my first boyfriend, of course I´ve lost him with my immature behavior, I´ve started a new relationship. At this time I had learned more about life and I had promised myself don´t be jealous and mean anymore. No one deserves that. Then I´ve started to date The One. The love of my life, and I´ve noticed I had gotta that, I was ready to give away only smiles and happiness. I opened my heart and my soul to live happily ever after.
I don´t know how, when and why, but suddenly I´ve decided to break up with my boyfriend and to start over. It wasn´t easy at all. He didn´t understand that and he didn´t want me to leave him alone after too much love. But when I decide that something or someone is not good enough for me, obviously, because I´m the "perfect", nobody can change my mind. Even his tears, flowers and "I love you" weren´t enough.
We´ve got in one point where he kind of started to hate me and I couldn´t accept that. Then, three months after the break up we accidentally met at a party. Guess what? we couldn´t stop looking each other and in the end we left together. My feelings got confused again, but I knew I used to love him and we shouldn´t waste our lives time apart.
At the time I used to go out with another guy, but after that night the best choice was to be alone or only with my ex-boyfriend. What I didn´t know was that he kept hanging out with another girls because he wasn´t sure about my love for him anymore. When I found that out , he denied. He made up stories trying to convince me to believe everything was gossip and that girl I´ve seen with him was an ex-girlfriend of his friend. Since then, I started to be jealous again and I used to follow him everywhere trying to caught them together.
My friends used to tell me to let him go before I hurt myself really bad. I was a stupid girl and decided to find out the truth before leave him and maybe to do another mistake. All the evidences were there, but I couldn´t accept that the man who used to love me and cry for me would be able to betrayed me like that.
Few weeks later he was with me and the girl called him at home. I got the other line and I heard everything. Yes, they were together. So I´ve started to talk to her and both of us started to complain and yell on him. We promise never to see him again, but still he had to drive me home. Oh! it was the worse day of my life until now. He was so rude. I cannot even remember the words he said because until now, three years later, it still breaks my heart.
One week later he called me asking for forgiveness. Ok, I said. And we met to talk for the last time. It´s obvious that wouldnt´be the last time and we kept seeing each other. The worse is that I also found out he was meeting the other girl again. I couldn´t handle that anymore and I left the country, him, job, family and friends.
(triste? mandei bem? será q o amor perdoa tudo?)
Couple years after my first boyfriend, of course I´ve lost him with my immature behavior, I´ve started a new relationship. At this time I had learned more about life and I had promised myself don´t be jealous and mean anymore. No one deserves that. Then I´ve started to date The One. The love of my life, and I´ve noticed I had gotta that, I was ready to give away only smiles and happiness. I opened my heart and my soul to live happily ever after.
I don´t know how, when and why, but suddenly I´ve decided to break up with my boyfriend and to start over. It wasn´t easy at all. He didn´t understand that and he didn´t want me to leave him alone after too much love. But when I decide that something or someone is not good enough for me, obviously, because I´m the "perfect", nobody can change my mind. Even his tears, flowers and "I love you" weren´t enough.
We´ve got in one point where he kind of started to hate me and I couldn´t accept that. Then, three months after the break up we accidentally met at a party. Guess what? we couldn´t stop looking each other and in the end we left together. My feelings got confused again, but I knew I used to love him and we shouldn´t waste our lives time apart.
At the time I used to go out with another guy, but after that night the best choice was to be alone or only with my ex-boyfriend. What I didn´t know was that he kept hanging out with another girls because he wasn´t sure about my love for him anymore. When I found that out , he denied. He made up stories trying to convince me to believe everything was gossip and that girl I´ve seen with him was an ex-girlfriend of his friend. Since then, I started to be jealous again and I used to follow him everywhere trying to caught them together.
My friends used to tell me to let him go before I hurt myself really bad. I was a stupid girl and decided to find out the truth before leave him and maybe to do another mistake. All the evidences were there, but I couldn´t accept that the man who used to love me and cry for me would be able to betrayed me like that.
Few weeks later he was with me and the girl called him at home. I got the other line and I heard everything. Yes, they were together. So I´ve started to talk to her and both of us started to complain and yell on him. We promise never to see him again, but still he had to drive me home. Oh! it was the worse day of my life until now. He was so rude. I cannot even remember the words he said because until now, three years later, it still breaks my heart.
One week later he called me asking for forgiveness. Ok, I said. And we met to talk for the last time. It´s obvious that wouldnt´be the last time and we kept seeing each other. The worse is that I also found out he was meeting the other girl again. I couldn´t handle that anymore and I left the country, him, job, family and friends.
(triste? mandei bem? será q o amor perdoa tudo?)
A tarefa ainda era cheiro, Mas desta vez, ao invés de BLOOD, eu tive q usar a palavra HAND....bom apetite!!!
Garlic. Ugh! My hands were dirty. I mean, I was trying to wash them over and over for hours, but that smell wouldn´t go away.
Why dos it always happen to me? I simply don´t know. Every time I want to cook something special my hands get that stink and I can´t figure out why. I did it right: I got the recipe, I went to the market and bought all organic and expensive ingredients. What´s wrong with me?
And my hands, my vanilla lotion... I think it´s time to change the brand and stop being cheap.
(foi difícil escrever sem mencionar a palavra cheiro, mas agora eu estava pensando e vi que dá pra reescrever sem o uso da palavra chave...eba!)
Why dos it always happen to me? I simply don´t know. Every time I want to cook something special my hands get that stink and I can´t figure out why. I did it right: I got the recipe, I went to the market and bought all organic and expensive ingredients. What´s wrong with me?
And my hands, my vanilla lotion... I think it´s time to change the brand and stop being cheap.
(foi difícil escrever sem mencionar a palavra cheiro, mas agora eu estava pensando e vi que dá pra reescrever sem o uso da palavra chave...eba!)
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Agora a tarefa era usar os 5 sentidos. Especificamente, o texto a seguir enfatiza o cheiro. SMELL. Consegui?
BLOOD
It was horrible!. Anyone could smell the blood on the floor from the sidewalk. It was so red, so strong, and the cold body couldn´t stop bleeding that life liquid. And people from everywhere were stoping by attracted for that weird energy. Heavy energy of a dead body.
A stranger who did touch the blood accidentally was trying to get a rid of that red on his arms. The soap seemed don´t be good enough to clean up, and that smell was there, didn´t go away.
Someone gave to him some water. He drunk it, but that taste... that color... that smell...
Finally Tom woke up and realized he had dropped wine on himself after he felt sleeping.
Oh, he was so drunk!
("o loco do vinho" =))
It was horrible!. Anyone could smell the blood on the floor from the sidewalk. It was so red, so strong, and the cold body couldn´t stop bleeding that life liquid. And people from everywhere were stoping by attracted for that weird energy. Heavy energy of a dead body.
A stranger who did touch the blood accidentally was trying to get a rid of that red on his arms. The soap seemed don´t be good enough to clean up, and that smell was there, didn´t go away.
Someone gave to him some water. He drunk it, but that taste... that color... that smell...
Finally Tom woke up and realized he had dropped wine on himself after he felt sleeping.
Oh, he was so drunk!
("o loco do vinho" =))
Vamos ver agora. O texto a seguir era "homework". Fui a um Starbucks pra escutar música e escrever.
What should I write when all I see is the world in and outside? What could I write when I hear all noises together in one room? Am I able to listen to that music and ignore those people around me talking and composing the music called life?
I don´t have enough answers for the questions my heart and my brain make every single second. But I can see your eyes; I can smell your perfume; I can hear your sounds; I can feel your weird touch; I can taste the air you breath out and think that it is all I need.
Better than this. I don´t need anything, anyone... I wish... That´s right, I´m full of wishes that have been coming true like an impossible dream day by day. Do you know how I call my dreams? Reality!
I´m real... everything I do is so deeply intense, bring me so much happiness that the only thing I can do to please the universe is smile all the time.
("a loca do Starbucks"... kkk)
I don´t have enough answers for the questions my heart and my brain make every single second. But I can see your eyes; I can smell your perfume; I can hear your sounds; I can feel your weird touch; I can taste the air you breath out and think that it is all I need.
Better than this. I don´t need anything, anyone... I wish... That´s right, I´m full of wishes that have been coming true like an impossible dream day by day. Do you know how I call my dreams? Reality!
I´m real... everything I do is so deeply intense, bring me so much happiness that the only thing I can do to please the universe is smile all the time.
("a loca do Starbucks"... kkk)
Textos produzidos no curso de Escrita Criativa....será q ficaram bons?
--> Ouvindo música clássica, bem calma... inspiração ao som de violinos:
The waves... I can hear the ocean to knock at my door and to ask me to leave. I don´t want to go to anywhere and then I just stay home. I sit on my favorite chair and look outside. The wind hits my body and makes me cold. It´s time to go inside again.
--> Música gospel:
Silence... The walls are white, I walk through the aisle and there´s no one home. I feel like going to my bedroom, my particular church. I get there and lock the door. It´s no good when someone gets in and disturb your meditation. I´ve been trying to find my balance.
--> Ao som do piano... notas rápidas... a música me agita:
Then I decide to go to the yard. I run, run like a little kid to caught the butterflies. It´s happiness! Feels good to be free. I wish I was that butterfly to be able to fly anywhereç go back and forward, make circles, go up and down. I wish I could touch your face and make you smile with my moves, with the beauty of my colorful wings. Where are you?
--> Ao som do thcutchururu......hahaha
Cold... the water is not as warm as I was expecting. And there you come walking or dancing or whatever it is. I only know it is nice, your body is moving like clouds on a shine day. Sunshine: you have no idea how long I´ve been waiting for this moment. But you don´t see me and pass by. Going where?
--> Um pouco de oldies... 70s?
What do I do now? Am I somehow important to you? CAn you see me? At least look accidentally to the same place I do? I don´t like people´s answers. I don´t like advices. So why do I keep making these stupids questions? It´s time to go inside the house again. I might be hungry.
--> Música triste, mas me energiza:
No. I can´t eat anything after all this. I don´t know why I feel like crying, but at the same time... That energy; that conection; that look; that word... Everything seemed to be perfect and endless. Now I´m here hiding myself from the entire universe. It´s not a game!
--> Melodia boa. Faz resurgir a esperança:
Let me do something. Thoughts are not enough. We live by action and reaction. Doesn´t matter what you think. I matter. My life matters. I´m going to meet you right now and tell you the truth. Do whatever you want with that. If you care, good. If not, better for me. It´s time to go.
--> Música clássica, voz calma:
Sorry if you´ve been waiting for too long. Our plane is leaving. Hurry up!
No, wait! we have time for one more dance.
And a huge smile is all you can see at the mirror, Happiness is a choice, nothing else.
(Poxa! despois q li achei tudo tão pouco, sem sal. Ok, era apenas um teste, uma prática banal em sala de aula. Espero q alguém goste. :) )
The waves... I can hear the ocean to knock at my door and to ask me to leave. I don´t want to go to anywhere and then I just stay home. I sit on my favorite chair and look outside. The wind hits my body and makes me cold. It´s time to go inside again.
--> Música gospel:
Silence... The walls are white, I walk through the aisle and there´s no one home. I feel like going to my bedroom, my particular church. I get there and lock the door. It´s no good when someone gets in and disturb your meditation. I´ve been trying to find my balance.
--> Ao som do piano... notas rápidas... a música me agita:
Then I decide to go to the yard. I run, run like a little kid to caught the butterflies. It´s happiness! Feels good to be free. I wish I was that butterfly to be able to fly anywhereç go back and forward, make circles, go up and down. I wish I could touch your face and make you smile with my moves, with the beauty of my colorful wings. Where are you?
--> Ao som do thcutchururu......hahaha
Cold... the water is not as warm as I was expecting. And there you come walking or dancing or whatever it is. I only know it is nice, your body is moving like clouds on a shine day. Sunshine: you have no idea how long I´ve been waiting for this moment. But you don´t see me and pass by. Going where?
--> Um pouco de oldies... 70s?
What do I do now? Am I somehow important to you? CAn you see me? At least look accidentally to the same place I do? I don´t like people´s answers. I don´t like advices. So why do I keep making these stupids questions? It´s time to go inside the house again. I might be hungry.
--> Música triste, mas me energiza:
No. I can´t eat anything after all this. I don´t know why I feel like crying, but at the same time... That energy; that conection; that look; that word... Everything seemed to be perfect and endless. Now I´m here hiding myself from the entire universe. It´s not a game!
--> Melodia boa. Faz resurgir a esperança:
Let me do something. Thoughts are not enough. We live by action and reaction. Doesn´t matter what you think. I matter. My life matters. I´m going to meet you right now and tell you the truth. Do whatever you want with that. If you care, good. If not, better for me. It´s time to go.
--> Música clássica, voz calma:
Sorry if you´ve been waiting for too long. Our plane is leaving. Hurry up!
No, wait! we have time for one more dance.
And a huge smile is all you can see at the mirror, Happiness is a choice, nothing else.
(Poxa! despois q li achei tudo tão pouco, sem sal. Ok, era apenas um teste, uma prática banal em sala de aula. Espero q alguém goste. :) )
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